My status update

terasa mcm nak update keje kat ofis la plak... iskkk..

well it has been about a week plus since i was (and still) struggling to maintain my daily milk supply.

so far :

- frozen stok increase to 3 bottles! (yeahaaa!!)
- sofeya still refuse to take FM. dah try isomil, mamil gold and enfagrow. dah try in cup, normal bottle (MLO bottle) and avent bottle. semua TAK MO.
- now she drinks on avg 9 oz (3 x 3oz).
- malam dia belasah gayut habis2an hingga ke titisan terakhir!

hmmmmmmmmmm...

maid cakap actually susu cam tak berapa nak cukup.. but since dia sungguh2 tak mo FM, so maid top up dgn food. kasik makan byk sket so that dia kenyang.

yg bestnyer bila aku offer FM.. sungguh2 dia tolak.. "no no no no no!!!" sambil geleng2 kepala...

sgt comel and pandai. sib baik cakap "NO" jer.. buatnya dia cakap "No thank you.." mmg aku instantly jadik penyokong kuat susu ibu, tak kasik dah baby lain minum FM suruh minum susu badan jer sbb jadik pandai sgt! :P

maid said mebbe tunggu a while klu nak introduce FM balik.. pasal the last time, sofeya cam trauma.. sampai EBM pun dia tanak minum.. gitu la plak...

so skang ni nak tak nak mmg aku postpone buat segala benda yg requires me to leave her (except work lah). nak pegi buat rambut aku pun dah berminggu2 aku postpone!

heran btul la budak nih.. kot la nak jeles tgk cousin2 dia minum susu ke apa.. kot la nak rebut botol ke apa.. tidak pun... aku jenuh la dok provoke dia "tgk tuhhhh... fatiyah (cousin sebaya) minum susu sedappppp.. mintak skettt" boleh pulak sofeya geleng2 kepala "no no no no no"

either mmg hang ni tak suka nak berebut (i doubt!!!) or my milk is super duper yummylicious...:)

but bila balqis minum milo dia sibuk nak berebut! hmm.. maybe i can introduce FM yg perisa coklat eh? tapinyer takut dia berak keras pulak.. hmmm...

suddenly blog ni dah tak mcm BF punya blog eh? hehheheheh

wat look look?? sukati aaa nak minum susu mama!!!

Calling for HELP

"Calling for HELP" is the phrase that my balqis love to use nowadays... like nak bukak-tutup suis lampu yang dia tak sampai.. she will yell "mommy!!! calling for help!!!"

sigh....

and now i am desperately calling for all the help i need.

been struggling in keeping up with the daily EBM intake for sofeya. i have only TWO frozen stock (4 oz each) left.

last week met her paed and he suggested to give her isomil (soya based FM) since budak ni inherit asthma from her parents. but dr khairul said other types of FM also can, but good one lah.. (expensive ones!). so he gave isomil and dumex mamil gold sample to try.

saturday nite aku dgn Mr P pergi wedding, left sofeya at home so I asked maid to give her isomil. as expected, the little girl TAK MO.

ok.

i tot maybe time tak kena.. coz mlm2 she normally nak nenen direct.

so yesterday (monday) i asked maid to try again.

semlm balik keje, maid report. "kasihannya budak niiiiii..... menangis2 tak nak susu botol. tolak2 dgn tangan.. keluar air mata berjurai2.. saya pun nangis tgk nya.. saya bagi susu mama (EBM), terus habis 2 botol"

aduhaiiiiii...

aku mental block.

bukan aku tak nak kasik EBM lagik, but im just preparing for worst case. utk sehari dua ni Insya Allah cukup lagi bekalan.. after that??

aku pump gila2 now. like pagi tadi aku pump at 2 am. guess baper byk aku dapek????

1.5 oz

for 15 mins okeh.

lepas tu kuar angin jer.

hati pun sakit. tetek aku pun sakit. sighhhhhhhh

am gonna try to give her dumex mamil plak esok. tgk cemaner. kalau dia reject jugak, then aku mmg betul2 buntu.

yes of course meanwhile aku terus jugak pump..

tolong la!!!!!!!!!

aku bingung. aku tak tau nak buat mcm mana. i dunno wat is happening to me.

my frozen stok dah tinggal less than 15 bottles.
yet my daily pumping tak menghasilkan enough supply for the daily intake.
thus now, daily mmg harus ambik frozen stock.

on this rate, in less that 2 weeks, i will have to start introduce formula milk to sofeya.

best thing yet, i am not doing anything to remedy the situation.
all the stuff i have been merapu in this blog, haram satu aku tak buat.

makin kurang ader la aku pump kat ofis.

dari 3, pas tu 2. hari ni sekali jer aku pump.

dunno wats happening to me.

cant believe the day is finally coming, the day i dread the most. the day that i have to introduce formula milk to sofeya.

selama ni aku ingat aku kuat. aku buleh buat... at least till she is 2 y.o.

she is only 16 mths. lama lagi.

yg best, even tho pump sekali... ingat kot dpt ler byk sbb rasa mcm dah bengkak giler.  alih2 4 oz jer... hek elehhh.. kot2 8-9 oz ke semangat la jugak aku nak pump lagi...

salahkan susu la plak... lempang diri sendiri kang.

tah la

emo sgt2 unstable.

kepala otak lagi la berterabur

hidup sgt tak de arah.

What lies beneath

We were on our way back from Low Yat when Mr Photographer (my husband) asked me the question "apesal susu u makin sikit? naper dulu u kerap pump, sekarang x kerap dah? dulu u asal ada time jer u pump...  u yg cakap kat i makin kerap pump makin byk susu"

Ambik nko soklan bertubi2.

Memula i thought my stock berkurang because aku dok ambik sikit2 and tak ganti balik stock.
Then i thought deeper, and here is the answer that i wanna share.

Like i said in previous post, breastfeeding memerlukan semangat and also willpower yang kuat. Bukan takat nak start and also master in it, but most importantly to sustain in this field.

I dunno about other mommies, but i have my ups and downs. Not in terms of milk supply, but my semangat and willpower.

The truth is people, sometimes i feel tired. I never tot i would say this openly but i guess i need to let it out. Plus, aku bukan nak menakutkan korang or discourage or demotivate korang to breastfeed. No.. not in a million years. Cuma i think you need to know the whole truth, yg elok ke, yang tak elok ke, so that you can prepare yourself emotionally and mentally.

Memang memenatkan. And sometimes uncomfortable, and sometimes menyakitkan.

Dulu aku pump MINIMUM 5 kali sehari.
7.30 am, 10.30 am, 1.30pm, 4.30pm and 8.30pm.

There are times yang aku bangun tgh2 mlm nak pump pasal sofeya tidur lena tak bangun nyusu.

Then as she grows up, she nurses more frequently especially tgh2 mlm. Her perangai berubah, bukan takat nak nyusu, but she also wants to bergayut mlm. So i cut down the midnite pumping session.

Then she grows up lagi, and tidur lewat sket mlm. I find it impossible to pump at 8.30pm coz time tu la dia nak main, nak nenen etc. So i cut down that pump session.

Then makin dia besar, dah makan solid, demand for susu pun not as much. So, beralasankan itu, plus aku sendiri kepenatan terkejar2 pagi2 nak siap itu ini, i cut down pulak 7.30am punya session.

Now, tinggal 3 pumping session yg aku masih buat kat ofis.

And sometimes i force myself to pump.

Terukkan aku?


So yeah.. my susu berkurang sebab sikap aku sendiri.

I'm not complaining, coz i know, susah payah, usaha aku ni tak sia2. I get the benefit, anak2 aku pun sihat, plus, setiap titik susu tu kan Allah berikan pahala?

Byk cara nak remedy the situation sebenarnya... like..
- remind yourself of the benefits
- talk to rakan seperjuangan
- read abt it.. masukla susuibu.com.. baca forum, mesti semangat balik.

Farah.. tolongla ketuk kepala aku kasik sedar sikit!

Introducing EBM

So I am gonna try to update thsi blog more regularly. Sebab mcm plenty more stuff yang belum dikongsi bersama.. ewahh.. :)

If you are new to breastfeeding, and working mother like me, you probably do not know that it is important to strategize the way, i.e. when and how to introduce EBM in bottle.

Well... to some people lah i guess. Coz ada jugak mothers yang tak de problem langsung nak introduce bottle to the baby.

Generally, we should direct feed the baby for as long as 2 to 4 weeks before we start pumping. Reason being sbb kita nak establish the milk supply properly. Deman-Supply rule. Meaning, in the duration, baby only being fed direct from the breast, no bottle. So bila nak balik keje, some baby yg fussy will start to refuse being fed from the bottle.

Maka masa tu la kelam kabut cari alternative.. ada bagi EBM pakai sudu, syringe, cup, etc.

So how la to avoid the situation. Well this was how i did it lah.. may or may not work for u..

I started pumping on day-9. (yeah i know aku sendiri tak follow the general rule). But I did not gave the baby EBM thru bottle yet, I store them all.

The first month, aku mmg fully direct feed.
Day 31, I started introducing EBM. Once a day. I started with 2 oz.

Mula2, mmg sofeya reject. Buat muka blur2.. jeluek2 lidah. Few times tried, tak mo. Masa tu I used Avent bottle and teat.

So I changed to NUK teat. OK. Dia accept.

Then day 32, I gave her 2 bottles of EBM. First one OK, second feeding session dia buat perangai. So we thought maybe too rushing. So for the next couple of days we stick to one EBM per day.

Then slowly we increased number of EBM. From 1, to 2, to 3..then sampai 5 session (full day on EBM).
Memang ambik masa and kesabaran both from our side (the adults) and also from the baby.

So my general rule,
- 1st 4 weeks solely on direct feeding
- week 5 and 6 on EBM training session
- week 7 and 8 the baby should be able to adjust naturally already, siang on EBM and mlm direct feeding.

You may ask kalau it is so difficult to introduce bottle, why not introduce awal2? Well my answer would be, kalau nko introduce awal2, the baby might be confused, and worst case baby reject direct feeding. Again, ni depends on baby. The key is to strike balance between direct feeding and EBM from bottle.

As for the correct amount of EBM to give, also depends on baby. My way, aku start giving at 2 oz per session. Why 2 oz? sebab aku follow the guideline kat tin susu (baby 1 mth buat susu FM 2 oz per session) Yeah I know FM tak sama mcm BM, but heh.. that is the closest guideline I can find.

So aku adjust from there..

I read somewhere, how to know that your baby is getting the right amount of milk is, bila baby habis nyusu, there must be balance susu lebih kurang 0.5oz in the bottle. Then, you can be assured that the baby dah betul2 kenyang.

Pasal kalau susu betul2 licin, we wudnt know if baby ni tak cukup susu ke, or betul2 kenyang. Then gradually you should increase 0.5oz per session.

So example, kalau bagi 2 oz, and susu ada balance 0.5 oz, then next feeding u shud stick to 2 oz.
If bagi 2 oz, and susu habis licin, then next feeding u shud increase to 2.5oz. And so on.

Ada paham ka?

Tak paham sila la bertanya aku..

Selamat Hari Raya

err.. better late than never kan?

sorry, coz been neglecting this blog for quite some time.
truth is busy, and malas, and just seem dono what to write.

yes i am still breastfeeding.. alhamdulillah. sofeya is 15 mths now.
however, my frozen stock dah berkurangan SIGNIFICANTLY. sampai laki aku yg tak pernah perasan berapa byk stok aku pun bleh terkejut tgk..."eh apsal susu u dah sikit?"

like that u know.. dulu sampai melimpah ruah freezer aku..
skang.. siap buleh taruk aiskrim lagi kat tempat yg dulu solely just for susu.

but i have only myself to blame.
-time posa pump 2 x jer...

and MAIN reason is, sometimes, bila aku kuar kejap2.. like gi groceries for 1-2 hrs, aku tak bwk pump. BUT sofeya kat rumah will drink EBM. So once in a while maybe nampak ok.. alahh..sebotol jer..

but i tell u.. one botol after another.. week after week.. and few mths later.. and waddayaknow...tetiba nampak stok susu makin sikit.. WHY? sbb tu lah.. bila ambik susu botol, tak pump & ganti.

so lesson of the day..

ko kuar kejap mana pun, klu dah ambik stok susu, make sure ganti ler... skang ni aku gi tesco ampang yg hanya 6 minit perjalanan tu pun (6 minit klu Mr Photographer bwk ler..) aku pump jugak. (pump dlm keter la.. ko jgn pump time tgh beli sayur tu plak..)

another lesson of the day..

klu agak2 ada perangai malas mcm aku ni.. rajin2 ler buat stok masa dlm pantang. sbb susu masa pantang PALING MEWAH. so klu tetiba dtg angin malas, ada jugak stok nak standby.

tapi lesson paling penting adalah JANGAN MALAS.

Org malas selalu rugi.

PAHAM?

Citer lain.

Haritu aku encounter sorang doctor yg cetek ilmu bfeeding. Memula dia puji aku kurus. Aku cakap ler pasal aku bfeed. Pas tu dia bukak ceramah patutnya dah kena campur formula pasal after 1 yr susu ibu dah kurang vitamin & nutrient. Pas tu yg paling aku hangin sekali stmt dia adalah..

"Of course bfeeding is good for you.. you dont get breast cancer, you can slim down but its not good for the baby. U should top up formula...."

So.. indirectly.. the ngok doctor is implying.. AKU NI BFEED SBB SELFISH lah ek?

YOUR HEAD BRAIN LAH DOCTOR!!!

aku sacrifice my time, effort, my leisure.. etc just nak ensure anak aku dpt breastmilk.. and you say i do it becoz of my own self interest???

nko gilo ke hapo?

Sakit lah!!!!

Lately ni Sofeya suka menggigit. Mentang2 dah ada 4 batang gigi (2 atas, 2 bawah). So dgn sedapnya dia menggesel2 kan gigi kat nipple aku. Dia buat mcm gigit plastesin jer. Sabo jer la.

Aku dok baca dlm BF forums, klu jadi camni, we can ajar the baby not to gigit. How? Well we can start by saying a stern NO. Then klu buat lagi we can withdraw the breast from the baby, nak tunjuk yg dia buat tu salah.

Aku? Well dah try no, dah try withdraw.. TAK JALAN.

Aku dah terjerit terpekik terlolong SAKIT!!!! Pun TAK JALAN.

Jenuh dah tutup2 breast konon2 tak mau bagi dia nenen klu dia gigit. Jalan la jugak kdg2, but some time later dia gigit jugak.

Few days ago, while pumping, I noticed darah kuar along with the milk. Adeh laaaa… Check2, rupanya ada KESAN GIGIT! Dalam jugak tuh.. ada la dlm 1mm dalam. (1mm is considered dalam and pedih if related to nipples!)

Nak buat mcm mana? Breast dah penuh, takkan tak nak pump? Tahan jer la pedih, but I shortened the pumping session, normally would go until 15 mins, but this time aku buat 10 mins je. Tak tahan beb!

Then after pumping, aku sapu sikit bmilk, anginkan breast for few minutes, baru pakai bra. Few days jugak la aku pumping mcm ni. Klu nyusu direct ok, tak pedih (as long as sofeya tak gigit). Furthermore I read somewhere that air liur baby akan bagi the luka lagi baik cepat.

Skang alhamdulillah dah okay. Tapi ada sket la trauma everytime tgk mulut dia luas nganga get ready nak NGAP